Oxymorons
*The dictionary defines an oxymoron as "a rhetorical figure in which
incongruous or contradictory terms are combined." Despite the fact
that we have no idea what that means, we would add, "to sometimes
humorous effect." You decide.*
United nations
Virtual reality
Open secret
Minor miracle
Non-alcoholic wine
Cardinal sin
Extensive briefing
Unbiased opinion
Family vacation
Good job
Almost exactly
Dodge Ram
Postal service
Constant change
Assistant supervisor
Black light
High ground
Half full
Crisis management
Ill health
Nothing much
Partially completed
Federal budget
Authentic replica
Random order
Small fortune
Wedded bliss
Legal brief
Student teacher
Steel wool
Public school education
Accurate horoscope
Real potential
Civil War
Job security
State worker
Half dead
Legally drunk
Exact estimate
Completely unfinished
New tradition
Act naturally
Found missing
Art student
Original copy
Resident alien
Genuine imitation
Airline food
Dry wine
Good grief
Government organization
Uninvited guest
Highly depressed
Final version
Sanitary landfill
Alone together
Small crowd
Live recording
Business ethics
Soft rock
Easy payments
Dry lake
Good beating
Cheerleading scholarship
Rock opera
Educational television
Bittersweet
Farewell reception
Deafening silence
Non-dairy creamer
War games
Death benefits
Clearly confused
Rolling stop
Safety hazard
Clearly misunderstood
Initial results
Friendly argument
Healthy tan
Cold sweat
Committee decision
Holy war
Peace force
Minor disaster
Home office
Extinct life
Armchair athletes
Christian Scientists
Random logic
Plastic glasses
Terribly pleased
Computer security
Political science
Tight slacks
Definite maybe
Pretty ugly
Rap music
Working vacation
Religious tolerance
IBM compatible
Microsoft Works
Athletic scholarship
Congressional ethics
Pretty ugly
Even odds
Great Depression
Terribly nice
Freezer burn
Journalistic integrity
Jumbo shrimp
Monopoly
Political promise
Religious intolerance
Same difference
Second best
Accordion music
Alone together
Dress pants
Work party
Military intelligence
Standard options
Sweet sorrow
Rural Metro (ambulance service)
Now, then
Passive aggression
Free love
Oxymoronic Statements
Some people say that I'm superficial, but that's just on the surface.
On one hand, I'm indecisive; but on the other, I'm not.
If there's one thing I can't stand, it's intolerance.
The world's full of apathy, but I don't care.
Perspective is in the eye of the beholder.
Prejudiced people are all alike.
What is the probability that something will happen according to the odds?
Evil isn't all bad.
I'm still not sure if I understand ambiguity.
Always be on the lookout for conspicuousness.
There's no such thing as nonexistence.
Cooperation can only be reached if we work together.
As far as I'm concerned, treachery will sometimes bring loyalty into question.
He doesn't have much of a reputation or so I've heard.
I disagree with unanimity.
I have my doubts about disbelief.
Avoid alliteration...always.
Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
One should never generalize.
Avoid cliches like the plague.
Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
I have a twin brother; he's identical, but I'm not.
Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
An oral contract isn't worth the paper its written on.
If we do not succeed, we run the risk of failure.
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous!
I always wanted to be a procrastinator!
Rehab is for quitters!
The shortest distance between two points is how far apart they are.
Don't be redundant by repeating yourself.
Grammar has gots to be one of the most importantest things ever?
My identity lies in not knowing who I am.
I am becoming increasingly worried that there isn't enough anxiety in my life.
I have this nagging fear that everyone is out to make me paranoid.
Free advice is worth what you paid for it.
Entropy just isn't what it used to be.
I keep telling myself that I am a pathological liar, but I am not sure if I believe it.
There are only three kinds of people; people who can count and people who can't.
Reality is a big, nasty, vicious dragon, but I don't believe in dragons.
Life is full of uncertainties...or I could be wrong about that?
Not only am I redundant and superfluous, but I also tend to use more words than necessary.
Always remember you're unique...just like everyone else!
